The Power and Sanctity of a Woman

On this Mother’s Day I have felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for not only my mother, but for all the women I have been privileged to have as a part of my life. The men in my life have shaped me a great deal. But as I look back, it is the women in my life that are responsible for providing me with selfless emotional support, motivation to do good, and helped me fulfill and honor my responsibilities as a man holding the priesthood of God. In this post, I simply want to share my thoughts and testimony about the power and sanctity of a woman.

You can tell the Lord specifically loves His daughters in the way that he created you. When God created the universe, he divided light from darkness, filled the void of space with countless stars and planets, and governed each with certain laws of science that even in this century we do not understand. He then went on to create the Earth with land, water, and sky in their vast complexities. Further, the Lord created the living cell with its nucleus, ribosomes, cytoskeleton, and mitochondria as the basic building structure for the 8.7 million different forms of life He later organized. There isn’t even raw data to explain how rare of a scientific event the formation of the Earth is, only hypotheses. Of which, the Rare Earth Hypothesis suggests that the chances of an Earth-like planet forming in the universe is .0000000000001 (before you count them, that’s 12 zeros). And out of all this, the Lord created you last. He spent the most time perfecting you, his best creation, as the vessel for carrying and raising His children into mortal life. You really are so special.

 

I laugh to myself when I think about what it would be like if men were given the responsibility to bare children. I’m pretty confident that after the first one Adam would have said, “Okay. No more people.” 

The Proclamation on the Family states:

“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose… By divine design… Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”

You possess such an innate ability to nurture that men cannot comprehend. You are patient, forgiving, selfless, hardworking, and have a kind of love that is unique only to you. And this is not only manifested by mothers to their children, but by all women to everyone they encounter. It is why men go to war because women would just want to sit and talk about it. Yet this is also the very reason why the Lord trusted you, His best creation, with the responsibility to carry his children into this world and then to nurture them.

With these divine characteristics, women also possess a very real and very strong power. There is a reason why Joe Cocker so appropriately sang You Are So Beautiful. Next time you walk past a magazine stand, watch a commercial on TV, or drive past a billboard, look too see who it is that you are viewing. Next time you walk down the hall, look behind you to see how many guys have stopped what they were doing just to get a second look. Next time you walk into a room full of men, pay attention to how much your presence alone changes the way they behave.

There is a story of a young man we all know. His name is David. Seventeen-year-old David is one of the most faithful young men I have ever heard of. In David’s home town, there was quite the battle going on. Goliath, a 9’8” man whose spear alone weighed 25 lbs., made every opposing soldier give up at just the thought of fighting him. Yet, here came this young, 17-year-old who exclaimed to an army far older and stronger than him, “…who is the Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (1 Sam 17:26) Then, armed with just a sword and a sling, David set out, trusting in the Lord, and slew Goliath. David was fearless! He was righteous! He could stare death in the face and make him want to live again! David’s faith and trust in the Lord led him to be one of the most powerful and successful kings in the Old Testament. But... he could not withstand the temptation of a beautiful woman.

Bathsheba did nothing to entice David. David himself I’m sure wasn’t planning to commit the sins that he did. Yet this giant-slaying, faithful, valiant, worthy man of God forfeited his kingdom and priesthood simply because he chose to look. That’s all David did. He looked. And though this man could defeat giants and build kingdoms, he could not withstand the sight of a beautiful woman. 

I really hope you recognize what power you have.

I beg of you… please… please… do not abuse it.

I know that it is difficult for you to understand, but Brother Bean at BYU-Idaho put it the best. He said if you ever want to know what it’s like for a guy, get up early in the morning to make a delicious breakfast. And when you get to the bacon… try not to smell it. Oh it’s possible! You may have to hold your breath or walk into a different room for a minute, but it’s possible. Have you ever walked into a room where someone’s been cooking bacon? What’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth? “MMMMM! Something smells good! Has someone been cooking bacon?” Then your mouth waters for bacon.

I so appreciate the women that understand that the power they possess can addict a man to just looking at her.

Yet this same power can be used to inseparably bind a couple emotionally together for eternity. In the right context, it is a beautiful and sacred thing. In my little dating experience, I have come to know the absolutely incredible joy that comes from earning the affection of a woman. Appropriate expressions of love from a woman, whether they are physical, verbal, or others, can make any man’s worst day easily become his best. I have gained so much respect for the power that lies behind loving a woman. It consumes every part of you. It becomes everything you think about. It’s your primary source of motivation. It is, in my experience so far, the greatest feeling once it is fallen into. Yet in contrast, there is nothing else than can fill the empty void of a broken heart other than the heart of someone else. I am told that time is the best healer of a broken heart, but the empty void seems to always remain. It is when that void is filled that we begin to again experience the immensely powerful effects of love.

I am so grateful for the women in my life. They have very literally saved me in so many ways. I hope to be able to return their love and service throughout the rest of my life. I also look forward to finding my best friend and serving her throughout our eternal lives. 

A very happy Mother’s Day to you. Know that who you are and what you do does not go unnoticed. Also know that Satan is trying his hardest to make you believe you are something that you are not. You are a daughter of God, an heir to His creations, and very literally, you have the potential to become a queen of queens.

Whatever your desires, goals, and aspirations… He wants them more.

The Refinement

Here's Ben's latest. He's been through a rough patch but offers some great insights from his "refiner's fire." He's doing very well it seems.

In this short passage, I would like to relay my feeling and thoughts about the last couple of months here in the mission. Since like the 17th of April, things have been...tough. I have entitled these remarks "The Refinement" because now that i am on the outside of this I can see the effects that have taken place because of this challenge. A lot of people always talk about experiencing what is called "The Refiners Fire." I believe that this experience is something that everyone has to go through if not just once, many times in their lives. And every time things get more and more difficult. We as human beings spend a lot of time growing. And in this case, we are growing as a lump of metal. We spent a lot of time and energy trying our best to form ourselves. But in the end all we end up as is a lumpy deformed raw material that at first glance seems like its only function here in this life is to serve as a paper weight. But we are happy, we are content, we have developed habits and skills that might be of use to us someday. No one is bothering us, we do what we want but somehow we always stay the same. Not realizing our true potential. Just living life as a lump. This is what it has been like throughout my mission. I have been happy, content with what i have been doing, I have had challenges, difficulties, but all these were caused by my own shortcomings, and weaknesses. I was trying to do my best, but in the end, it always seemed that there was something blocking my way. Like a feeling that i was not living to my potential. Am i destined to live as a rock only dealing with my personal situations or is there something better for me? Is there a way i can live my true potential?

In this road called life there is this rock that is living on the side of the road. Along comes a master swordsman on this road going about his daily business. He spots this lump and begins to examine it this lump which has no purpose but to hold down papers. This raw material that has great potential but cannot be achieved without the help of someone else. As the swordsman is examining this rock, he sees something else. He sees a talent that can be refined and sharpened and molded into something great. He picks up the rock and takes it to his son, a master sword smith.

He throws the rock on the table and says to his son, "this here is a fine ore, it has great potential to make a unique sword." The son looks at his father and asks, "what will you have me do with this ore?" and the father replied, "For this ore, I have a great plan to make it into a wonderful and unique sword. The strongest and lightest one there is. It shall be perfect in every way, But first we must refine it. and for that son, i need your help. I need you to make a sacrifice for this ore. I need your sweat, blood, and tears to help this ore fulfill its perfect potential. Son it is going to be difficult and people will mock you for dedicating your time in helping this ore. They will say it is of now worth, how can that ugly thing ever become something perfect? But son, it has to be done." The son replied simply to the father..."I will" so under the direction of his father, they began to work on refining the paperweight.

In order to start the refining process, the ore has to be heated to exceedingly high temperatures to a point where it is almost destroyed. And then it is taken out of the fire and the sword smith begins pounding at the ore to form it and mold it. And then it is back into the fire. The ore in this moment isn’t very happy. He was sitting there fat and happy. Not perfect but satisfied with who he was. But the swordsman knew his potential, what he could be. and thus began the refinement. The ore is now being manipulated contrary to his will. he is going through a pattern of heating and beating that is very uncomfortable for him. He questions the swordsman why is he doing this to him. Why is this happening to him? Isn’t there another way? The swordsman gently replied, I know what you can become, and when i am finished you will look at yourself and realize that you had to go through the refinement to become your true potential. Then you will look up at me and say thank you.

The ore now understands what has to be done, but it is still difficult. all this time he has developed characteristics and habits that are stubborn and difficult to mold out. The sword smith continues to bang and pound and slowly the ore begins to take shape. The ore starts to see the results but still doesn’t understand why. Again back into the fire, hotter and hotter, harder and harder, challenge after challenge, failure after failure, mistake after mistake. The ore can see his potential now but doesn’t know how to achieve it. He feels as if all of this is for nothing. He doesn’t have the confidence to live his potential. He just wants to stop and call it quits. He can see the progress done but can’t see the goal and doesn’t want to bear the pain anymore. He feels alone and scared for the future. He is about to abandon himself to the destructive fire. He cannot bear it. But the swordsman and the sword smith will not let him be destroyed. Although the ore may feel that he is at the point of destruction, the swordsman will not permit that he be destroyed.

So the work continues, day after day, month after month, year after year. People start to look at the ore and notice changes. he has become more slender and looks like a great sword. There have been drastic changes in the ore, not only in physical appearance but also chemical composition. He has gone from Iron to steal. He has gone from a lump that served as a paper weight to a slender sword. What the ore doesn’t realize is that the sword smith has sacrificed so much to work with the ore. It took so much time and energy from the sword smith that he as well began having physical changed. He became older, weaker. Through all the time dedicated, he neglected his other projects. People got mad at him. They began to persecute him, to the point of destroying his things, his house, his workshop. But the sword smith continued diligently working with the ore every day and night. Not complaining, never doubting, doing the things he needed to do that were required of him, dedicating all of his time to the ore.

The people eventually got so mad that they sought his life. In the moment when the ore was at the point of being finished, the town’s people broke into the workshop where the sword smith was working and kidnapped him. Having done no wrong, apart from dedicating his life to help the ore, the town’s people tried and convicted him and sentenced him to death. So they took him and murdered him in the town square. The sword smith knew that it had to be done. He looked at the project and knew eventually in the end he would be giving his life to finish the sword.

But when the sword smith died, he had completed the sword 99%. He did almost everything necessary for completion, he only faulted perfection. At this point, the ore had become a magnificent piece of art. Truly the finest work ever performed by the sword smith. It was a unique tool to affect the lives of 1000´s.

But he still is not perfect. That is up for the ore to decide. If he wants to be perfect, he has to take care of himself. He has to refine himself little by little into perfection. But it is his decision. The sword smith showed him the way. He gave him the tools. Now it is up to the ore to finish the job.

We are all like the ore. Wanting to live our lives the way we want to, the way we have lived it before. But it is not what god has in store for us. He has a plan for each and every one of us. And he will make sure that we have the experiences necessary to fulfill our potential. At times we will question why he does things. But he says know that these are for our own good so that we may help other individuals. We may feel at times that we can’t do it. This is too hard. I can’t make it to the top. This is all part of the refinement. But in the end we will look up at God and thank him. Thank you Mr. Sword smith for cutting me down, for loving me enough to hurt me.

But the one thing we must always remember always is the sacrifice our savior made for us. In recent months I have come to realize what the words “like a lamb to the slaughter” or “the Lamb of God” truly mean. When a sheep or a lamb is about to be killed for whatever reason, whether it be for food or material, they don’t put up a fight. Even to the point of when the blade of the knife is at the throat of the animal. Even when it is dying, it dies in a “pleasant” manner. Not struggling. When our redeemer was sacrificed for us, he did so in a “pleasant” manner. Knowing what had to be done. And when we understand really what Christ went through, we understand why it had to be done. And we are eternally indebted to him. But we will understand that there was no other way.

Through his stripes we are healed. I don’t know how the complex workings of the atonement directly apply to me, but what I do know is that it had to be done. And that prayer is real. And god answers our prayers. And he is in charge. And we as his children need to understand that. And when we do, we have to keep our feet moving because in the moment that we stop, Satan kills us. He comes in and destroys us because we have let our guard down. But if we keep our feet moving he cannot enter. He has no influence over us unless we allow him in. This is the work of our savior. We are his servants and it is impossible to do this work without experiencing a little bit of what Christ experienced. It is all part of the refinement. That is why it is so difficult. But we are here to do the difficult work. To be the best we can ever hope to be and to be ultimately perfect, our true destiny.

Just Because....

There really isn't a purpose for this post... other than life is beautiful and wonderful. This morning I woke up and walked to my fitness class in a brisk 7 degrees or so. It was so peaceful with almost no cars or people outside. I was just able to soak in the morning. In my fitness class, I was able to run to the water tower in Rexburg... maybe about two or three miles. It's the first time I've really been able to run since spraining my ankle. I was grateful to the young man who stayed a bit behind with me even though I was kinda slow. We talked about one of the students in the class who came faithfully. We were amazed at her dedication despite that it was apparent by her size the class was difficult for her. Yet she always came, and always completed the workouts.

I didn't have my class right afterwords so I was able to have a slower morning. I'm grateful for my roommates to provide a clean apartment when I came home allowing a great environment just to get ready for the day. I was able to cook a warm breakfast and enjoy a few minutes of scripture study while I ate. Everything about this morning seemed peaceful... even the squirrels playing tag around the trunk of a tree in our courtyard (wow, that sounded sappy).

It's just been a great morning. Going a bit slower and taking a bit more time felt calm. I remember the words of Elder Holland when he told missionaries, "you will make or break your day in the first three hours of it." K... that was paraphrased, but you get the idea. I think I want to try harder at making my mornings more productive. Well... maybe not productive, but just a bit slower. There's no harm in that, right? No one ever said taking a bit more time was a bad thing. Just as long as I get to class on time huh. :)

That and I think exercise makes a good start for a morning. I'm not gonna lie... while I'm doing it, I wanna die. But I ALWAYS feel so good afterwords. As a psychology major, I learned that the best thing you can do for your brain is exercise. My Stake President Henry J. Eyring made an effort to let us know that he exercised six times a week for 30 minutes. He said any more than that is not for your health but for your ego. So now I have a good excuse not to kill myself with "endless hours in the gym" like an infomercial would say. =p

So here's to more mornings like this one. To take time to smell the roses, or watch the squirrels.

A Weekend of Bromance....

This weekend was amazing!!! After school I teamed up with some of my VERY good friends and went out for a weekend of bromance.

Friday

BYU-Idaho doesn't have Jimmer, but they put on a pretty good dunk contest. Being there brought back some great memories of high school basketball. What was more surprising about this contest was the jump roping show! This girl jump roped on her back!

Craigo's, or Pizza Pie Cafe, always satisfies. Period. Probably my favorite place to eat in Rexburg. Especially at 10:30 after a long week. We get kinda loopy... especially Jeff. He tends to kind of laugh like crazy.

(Movie on it's way as soon as I find out how to make it smaller.)

The evening was finished with The Dark Knight! Not to mention that I finished my paper due at 11:55 at 11:54! Love technology!

Saturday

I was privileged to attend the Home and Family Conference on Saturday. I got to see my mission president and his wife and stuff about another 1000 envelopes After registering everyone. Only 8,000 more to go!

Then as a deal from the conference, not on my own accord, I attended the Flower and Bridal show from the horticulture department. (Don't judge!) It was actually pretty Cool!
Lastly... we had another man date to Extravadance, the big dance show put on by BYU-Idaho's Dance Alliance. I am secretly a Dance Alliance groupie... but don't tell anyone. A year ago you probably wouldn't ever catch me attending such an event. Some of the dances just didn't make sense to me.Too toos and tights weren't very appealing to me as some of you may be able to relate. But, a VERY talented roommate and girlfriend later, I've become hooked to the dancing world. Mostly because I'm jealous... I haven't been able to touch my toes in 22 years. During the show, however, I found myself explaining the different kinds of dances and styles to my guy friends who came with me. Kind weird... Never would have happened a year ago.

The show itself was phenomenal! I have NEVER gotten even slightly emotional from a dance show before and I blubbered through the whole thing! WELL DONE DANCE ALLIANCE! The show's theme was "A Greater Love" where they demonstrated different kinds of love through different methods of dance. I never knew how powerful someone's testimony could be conveyed through dance. It's beautiful in a very unique way to feel the message someone is sharing without words, just movements. What an incredible thing!

We often hear about a choir of angels in heaven, but after this weekend... I have no doubt there is a dance company of angels up there too. What a great weekend.

What I Just Realized....

Lately I have learned SO much from recent experiences I’ve had in my life. I would be lying if I didn’t say the last few months have been the hardest I’ve experienced in my life to date. As I look back, however, I stand in awe at the knowledge and gifts I’ve been allotted. I hope in this post that though I may share some personal things, I hope those who read this will find help as they too pass through the great mists of darkness along this path of life. Here’s what I’ve learned.

AGENCY

All too often we may be so concerned with doing what’s best we forget what this whole life is about… choices. I know I’ve been so caught up with wanting to do what I think God wants me to do that I forget how much he wants us to exercise our ability to choose. I find myself stagnant in life waiting for an answer to my prayers that ultimately will not come with some decisions in life. I believe that God does have an incomprehensible interest in our lives, but with that I’m sure he won’t give us all the answers. Though our lives should constantly be guided by prayer, I learned I cannot rely on him to make every decision for me. That’s Satan’s plan. Even with some very large decisions, I learned that we need to make decisions for ourselves.

In a recent devotional at BYU-Idaho, Elder Mickelsen said, “There is an interesting dichotomy between inspiration and agency. The Lord has made it clear: He will inspire, He will guide, He will prompt, He will teach, but He will not choose for us.” For instance, I don’t think the Lord will tell us specifically what we are to do for a living (but there are always exceptions). I do believe, however, that the Lord can guide us, prompt us, and teach us in the process of making that decision. But ultimately it is our decision and our decision will be the best one because we used our own intellect and abilities coupled with prayer to make it.

Likewise, the decision to choose an eternal companion is almost purely governed by choice. Yes, he or she is everything you want and more, yes he or she fits everything in your patriarchal blessing, yes you prayed and felt peace about perusing a future with him or her, but he or she also has agency and therefore may not want the same. It doesn't mean that he or she made a wrong choice... it was simply a choice. We know from modern Prophets and Apostles and there are many whom we can spend the rest of eternity with. There are many we can feel peace about. There are many that fit what our patriarchal blessings describe. And yes, there are many we can feel peace about a future with. This is where faith comes in.

FAITH

I am so grateful for the knowledge that God is God and that he can do whatever he wants.

My stake president is Henry J. Eyring, son of Henry B. Eyring. He gave us a promise in our last stake conference that if we spoke to the Lord in sincere and earnest prayer, He would speak to us through the scriptures. “Well duh!” I thought. The same words that Nephi used in 1^st Nephi chapter 8 to describe the fruit of the tree of life he also used to describe the mist of darkness. How can we expect to press through this “exceedingly great” mist of darkness without holding fast to the Rod of Iron? It would be stupid! We’d be blind and inevitably get lost.

So during this refining process I’ve begun to rely so much on the word of God. Every hard day becomes so much easier when I strive to indulge myself in the word of God so that he can speak to me. During one of these hard days, this is what the Lord taught me about faith.

I felt impressed to open to Ether 12, and life got so much better. I was given an insight that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. First, I realized what faith and hope are together. I realized I had become short sighted and lost trust in my Heavenly Father. Ether 12 confirmed to me again the importance of faith in the difficult moments of life. I feel ashamed that, for a moment, I forgot the divine hand of the Lord in my life and I began to rely on the intelligence of my own conscious. I also realized that hope has to be coupled with faith! “Wherefore, if a man have faith he MUST needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.” (Moroni 7:42) What is hope? Preach My Gospel states that “hope is manifest in optimism and enthusiasm.” That’s hard to do sometimes in the midst of exceedingly great mist. But we must have faith with hope in order to receive the blessing.

Additionally I was given another insight. First it was verse four in Ether 12: “Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world… which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men.” I wasn’t hoping for a better world because I wasn’t exercising any faith. Then again the Lord spoke to me in verse 30, “For the brother of Jared said unto the mountain Zerin, remove – and it was removed. And if he had not had faith it would not have moved; wherefore thou workest after men have faith.” This added to the well-known doctrine in verse six where we receive no witness, or blessing, until after the trial of our faith. But I learned that that trial REQIRES an ACT of faith before that witness or blessing comes. It REQUIRES a step into darkness. During those trials of our faith, it is not simply enough to sit and wait it out until it’s over. I learned that FAITH IS NOT A PASSIVE THING! The blessing comes after we ACT in faith. So, how was I to show an act of faith? (Enough underlines, italics and boldness? J)

CHARITY

Preach My Gospel: “You will come to feel a sincere concern for the eternal welfare and happiness of other people. You will see them as children of God with the potential of becoming like our Heavenly Father and you will labor in their behalf…” Pause here. We know from Moroni 7 :48 that we must pray unto the Father with ALL the energy of heart to be filled with this love. Additionally, my Elder’s Quorum President suggested that to develop charity we think in our minds with every interaction with people , “this is the most important person in my life right now.”

My life is no exception from many other college students, it is very busy at times. I have been accused several times of passing by people saying hello and I didn’t even notice them because I was hastily moving to the next “very important” activity. I knew I needed to pray with all the energy of my heart to be filled with this love. My mission president and his wife are excellent examples of this Love. My “mission mom” was Heidi Swinton, author of President Monson’s biography. I was privileged to see them this weekend and witness a very subtle teaching moment. I walked into the chapel of the Taylor Building on campus and saw President and Sister Swinton interacting with people I’m sure were very anxious to see them. Because I got em for two years, I took my seat and let the others have the opportunity to meet them. While busily texting to arrange meetings and plans for the rest of the day, I heard, “is this seat taken?” President Swinton took a seat on my left and without skipping a beat I heard again, “is this seat taken?” and Sister Swinton sat on my right. Within seconds I found myself in their embrace while simultaneously receiving kisses on the cheek from Sister Swinton. Here was this couple that was very well known in the church around 100’s of people who came to see them and they came and found me… the one. That gesture meant to world to me. I hope to grow up to become just like them.

As we continue in Preach My Gospel it says, “You will avoid negative feelings such as anger, envy, lust, or covetousness. You will avoid judging others, criticizing them, or saying negative things about them. You will try to understand them and their points of view. You will be patient with them and try to help them when they are struggling or discouraged. Charity, like faith, leads to action. You will develop charity as you look for opportunities to serve others and give of yourself.” Yes, I definitely needed to pray with all the energy of heart of be filled with this love.

As I strove to do so, I found myself realizing something. We all do stupid things. In a lesson on the Law of Chastity given by my Bishop, he gave some wonderful counsel that sounded something like this. “Brethren, we all do stupid things. When you or some wonderful young woman has fixed it, DON’T BRING IT UP! Let it go and move on! None of you are perfect, so don’t expect her to be perfect. BUT, if you are engaged in something that you shouldn’t be… gosh darn it brethren fix it! When she says yes to you, she thinks she’s marrying the most perfect man on the Earth. Live up to that!” When he said this, I realized that charity is not about our scars, it’s about our hearts. We all do stupid things, but we all have the same potential. However… it takes time to achieve that.

PATIENCE

Preach My Gospel: Patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious. It is the ability to do God’s will and accept His timing. When you are patient, you hold up under pressure and are able to face adversity calmly and hopefully. Patience is related to hope and faith – you must wait for the Lord’s Promised blessings to be fulfilled.” After learning all of this, patience has been my latest focus.

God is God, he can do whatever he wants. As we do our part, he promises to do His. We may not have control over the agency of others, we cannot change the past, we cannot predict the future, but we sure have control of today. I determined that I must become a “yes man.” It is up to me to go out and make new friends, it’s up to me to have a fun filled weekend, it’s up to me to be happy. And that with the Lord’s help, is what I choose to be… no matter what.

And I hope that you are happy… really hope.

Pray for Japan...

There's so much to be thankful for....